Marriage
Marriage is not only a human agreement or a legal contract. In the Catholic faith, marriage is a sacred covenant established by God Himself. From the beginning of creation, God made man and woman for each other, and He intended that their union should be faithful, lifelong, and open to the gift of new life.
In the book of Genesis we read:
"Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)
Because marriage comes from God, the Church believes that it has a deep spiritual meaning. The love between husband and wife is meant to reflect the faithful love of God for His people, and the faithful love of Christ for His Church. For this reason, Christian marriage is not only a natural bond, but a sacrament — a visible sign of God's grace.
In our modern world, marriage is sometimes seen as something unimportant, something to be delayed indefinitely, or simply a personal choice with no lasting commitment. Many couples live together without marriage, or feel that they must first have everything settled in life before they can make such a promise. The Church understands that life today can be complicated, but she continues to teach that marriage is not something to be put off without reason. It is a good and holy vocation, given by God for the good of man and woman, for the raising of children, and for the building up of society.
For this reason, we strongly encourage couples to take marriage seriously, and not to be afraid of making a lifelong commitment. Marriage is not only for when life is perfect, but a grace that helps life to become what it should be. When a man and woman give themselves to each other in faithful love, God gives them the strength to live that promise.
The Essentials of Christian Marriage
In a Catholic marriage, a man and a woman freely give themselves to one another in a lifelong commitment. This commitment includes three essential elements:
- Faithful — husband and wife give themselves only to each other.
- Permanent — marriage is for life, and cannot be ended by human decision.
- Open to children — the love of husband and wife is naturally ordered towards the gift of new life, even if children are not always given.
Because marriage is a sacrament, it is not only the couple who act, but Christ Himself who joins them together. This is why the Church takes marriage seriously, prepares couples carefully, and asks them to enter into it with freedom, understanding, and faith.
Marriage as a Vocation
Marriage is also a vocation. Through married life, husband and wife help each other to grow in holiness, to serve God, and to raise their children in the faith. The family that comes from marriage is often called the "domestic church", because it is in the home that faith is first lived and passed on.
For this reason, the Church encourages couples who wish to marry to take time to prepare well, to pray together, and to understand the promises they will make, so that their marriage may be strong, faithful, and filled with God's grace.
Preparation
At least six months should normally be allowed between first contacting the parish and the proposed date of the wedding. This is because the Church requires a formal period of preparation before marriage can take place. Marriage is a sacrament, and the Church must be sure that both parties are free to marry and understand the commitment they are making.
As part of this preparation, the Church requires an information-gathering process. This usually includes obtaining new copies of baptismal certificates, providing confirmation details, completing the necessary forms about freedom to marry, and making the required civil declaration of the intention to marry. These documents must all be collected before a wedding can be confirmed.
The priest of the parish where you live is responsible for completing the official paperwork, and normally only he can carry this out. Even if you hope to marry in one of the churches of the Divine Mercy Partnership, the preparation must usually begin in the parish where you reside.
There is also a requirement for marriage preparation. This normally includes a number of meetings or sessions to help you understand the meaning of Christian marriage and the promises you will make. The Church takes marriage seriously, and she asks those who wish to marry to do the same, so that they can enter into this sacrament with freedom, faith, and proper understanding.
You can speak with the priest who is preparing your paperwork about marriage preparation, or you may speak with one of the priests of the Divine Mercy Partnership. One of the priests will need to meet with you in any case, both to guide you through the preparation and to help you begin planning the wedding liturgy itself. There are many options when it comes to marriage preparation, and the priest will help you find the approach that best suits your circumstances while ensuring that the requirements of the Church are fulfilled.
Scheduling
One of the most important things you will need to do is fix a date into the diary. Please come to the Divine Mercy Partnership first before you start booking reception venues and photographers and the like.
What if I don't live in the Chelmsley Wood area?
Don't worry. There are one or two ways of looking after the preparation and you can always talk through the possibilities either with the priest at the Divine Mercy Partnership or with your own priest. You will, of course, need to register your intention to marry civilly and this is done through the Registry Office. This has to be done no more than twelve months before the wedding takes place. It is crucially important that this is done, and done in good time. You can contact your local Registry Office and they will tell you exactly what you have to do as part of this process.
Does it matter if my Fiancé(e) is not Catholic?
Not at all! The priest who is taking care of your paperwork will just work through with you the dispensations and permissions that are required for the marriage. It is a straightforward process and the priest is there to help you. As a start to the process, it's always worth finding out where you were baptised just so that your baptismal records can be located when needed. You may well have original certificates from the day you were baptised, but the priest preparing your paperwork will need you to get hold of new certificates.
Convalidation of Marriage
Sometimes a couple may already be married civilly, or in another setting, and later come to the Church wishing to have their marriage recognised as a Catholic marriage. This is called a convalidation, which means that the marriage is brought into the life of the Church so that it becomes a true sacramental marriage.
There are many reasons why this situation can arise. Some couples may not have been practising their faith at the time of their wedding. Others may not have realised that Catholics are required to marry according to the form of the Church. Sometimes circumstances at the time made it difficult to marry in church. Whatever the reason, it is never too late to put things right.
The Church is always glad to help couples who wish to regularise their marriage. The process usually involves meeting with a priest, completing some paperwork, and making the necessary declarations to show that both parties are free to marry and understand the commitment of Christian marriage. In many cases the preparation is simpler than for a first marriage, but it is still important, because the Church wants to make sure that the marriage is entered into freely and with full understanding.
A convalidation normally takes place in church, often in a simple ceremony, although it can also be arranged within Mass if that is appropriate. The essential thing is that the couple exchange their consent according to the form of the Church, so that their marriage becomes a true sacramental marriage.
If you are already married but would like your marriage to be recognised by the Catholic Church, please speak to one of the priests of the Divine Mercy Partnership. We will be very happy to talk through your situation and help you take the next step.